Urgent website clone done today

I am posting this because I need this done in the next 8 hours. I am only looking for someone free to work with me in the next 8 hours straight. The site is very straight forward. I have a simple website I need done. I would like this done in 8 hours. It is not a hard website. I need you to create a site with 11-13 pages, it is a simple two column website containing photos on one side and text on the other. The only real graphics you'll need to do is the Background. I will provide all content, every single page you will implement I have someone create it already in a word document and I even have the forms complete layout done that I need you to implement. I do need you to know hot create logo because I want a simple one, it can be a template but I also want my initials to be in really nice font around the logo. I need a gallery page and the images are already edited for you. I just need a really nice gallery that will work on all smart phones, that means no flash Java only. I will need 1 blog page so I can blog. I need a calendar for appointments which you can use plugins to do as well. I would prefer to work with someone that knows about ssl certificates as well because later once the site is done, I'll want to add a ssl certificate to the site for the reservation form to be secure. This is pretty detailed and again I have all content and the site is a simple two column site despite how you interpret this. I know it's simple except for the background. I want a nice graphic background with a photo of me on the right or left and the background to remain constant and the page move up and down. You will also need to put banners and links at the bottom of my site. Thank you and happy bidding. I am willing to pay $50 for this gig and you must be able to start now and be done in 8 hours because the forms and the background is the only real programming to be done. Also, don't bid if you cannot work with mild adult content, no nudity is involved but lingerie is involved. Thank you.