Design a Banner

Although the category I have selected is "Banner design", what I am looking for is designing some cool "Bumper Stickers". Each sticker would be printed with dimensions 10"x 3", so the aspect ratio expected is 10:3, and the pixel density should be enough to support that size. The stickers would consist of both text (list below) and graphics, and should have contrasting colors for the text to stand out. I tried my hand in creating a couple of stickers, but they came out to be very bland, hence contacting a professional :) I am attaching those here just to give an idea, but the freelancer is free to make any changes or redo them completely. The bottom line is that the stickers should have the following texts, and relevant graphics. 1. Gentleman on Board 2. I am not in danger, I am the danger. 3. Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. 4. Techno-Pagan. I worship the holy Mother Board 5. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart. So, in total there are 5 stickers to be made. Also, since these are bumper stickers, the size of the texts should be big enough to be legible from a distance. These stickers are just a sample for a bigger project (more than 100 stickers), so show me your best work!